Saucy and spanking (ouch!) good, The Magic Fundoshi teases us with tales revolving around lust, desire and sex. We check out four actors in the play to see if they have anything up their kimono sleeves.

Tell us about yourself.

Jonathan Lim: I am a woman on a mission. I am a preserver of Japanese culture, and a believer in romance, poetry, beauty, and a lot of wild sex on the side!

Hossan Leong: I’m the Priest in charge of the Shrine dedicated to the goddess Benten. She is the goddess of love and other related matters.

Koh Boon Pin: I am a local lord … or the Lady Chibusa (depending on the time of night).

Robin Goh: I am Taro Kaja, a servant attached to a large house.

Are you more classy or sassy?

JL: I’m classy in public, sassy in bed. Unless I’m in bed in public, then I’m both.

HL: I am extremely hypocritical, obsessive and greedy. So I think, neither.

KBP: As the philosophers have phrased it, where would we all be without our servants?

RG: I’m too clever to be classy, so I’m sassy.

What is marriage to you?

JL: It is proof that at least one person wanted you enough to link up with you for life, so everyone else should give you a try too!

HL: It is lifetime of bondage … I mean I meant bonding to someone you thought you loved.

KBP: I am a family man, with a wife and three innocent children.

RG: A headache. Always have something on the side so you don’t get bored.

How about tips on carrying on an affair without being found out?

JL: The best way to make sure no one finds out is to tell everyone right away!

HL: If you’re scared of being found out, then don’t have an affair!

KBP: Life is far too short to waste it with the endless and meaningless complications of one of our urban love affairs.

RG: If you live in the country, do it in the city, or vice versa.

Is a fundoshi (loin cloth) important to you?

JL: Oh yes indeed, it is very important. Not having a fundoshi is like receiving a gift without wrapping paper.

HL: Well, I normally don’t wear anything beneath my robe, but if I need a fundoshi, I mail order.

KBP: I might have a need for just something like that.

RG: It is important. I would beg, steal, borrow, lie, cheat and finagle to get it.

Do you believe in magic? 

JL: Oh yes, I believe in magic. A totally ordinary and dull limp man can turn into a raging, throbbing pillar of love and bringer of pleasure. If that’s not magic, what is?

HL: No. Because then, logic won’t apply.

KBP: It looks very interesting, very interesting indeed.

RG: I practice it.

What is the most hilarious encounter you’ve had with a member of the opposite sex?

JL: Only one member? Hmm…

HL: Well, I couldn’t tell whether she was a woman or not, then I found out she was, then she decided not to be, so she became a man, then decided to become a homosexual …

KBP: If one rubbed her in the wrong place, he would end up with no potency at all.

RG: The opposite sex has no sense of humor. Hence, no hilarious time.

Who is your dream woman/man, and why?

JL: The Lord Ichimotsu! He is so noble and upright in every way! I long to kiss his feet, and work upwards from there!

HL: My dream woman is my maid. I mean, who else is willing to take all the abuse and beatings and STILL clean your house?

KBP: Oh, mighty Benten …

RG: My dream man is me.